Shit, now we gotta get off this rowboat. Stand in line like cattle, go through Customs (they were pretty apathetic about the whole process…thank God) and into the taxi to take us to the Eden Roc in Miami Beach to cool down and hang out for the night before going through the hellish ‘Greyhound w/ Wings’ experience of flying back to Cleveland.
Not a bad place, this Eden Roc. Nice corner oceanfront suite, lotsa pools, hot tubs (without sweaty, drunken yahoo’s in them). Should be nice, right?
F*cking WRONG! If ya notice the last picture, it appears they are setting up for an event of some sort, yes? That’s because they are…of course they neglected to mention this when we checked in and paid a $21 per person ‘Resort Fee’. All pools, pool areas and outside locations were off limits from 4pm onward. Now, I understand they have events and stuff but to still charge the resort fee when essentially you’re trapped in your room (think ‘Gilded Cage’) unless you leave the property, just what the ^%$#@ is the Resort Fee for? They’ll be getting a call this week, the asshats. On the plus side, before they roped everything off we did squeeze in a lunch of:
1 Chicken sandwich
1 Cuban sandwich
1 small glass of Pinot Grigio
1 Diet Coke
All for the bargain price of $88…but that did include the mandatory 18% gratuity for the shitty service so that’s something. Then again, maybe not.
But all is not lost, we’re right close to South Beach so I got on the phone, made an appointment at http://salvationtattoolounge.com/ and this was the result:
Great place, Maria was quite entertaining through the whole (3hr) process. For anyone reading this that works with me, you’ll see that I’m promoting the company brand via logo’d clothing even when I’m on vacation. Or maybe it was because all my other shit was in a suitcase wrapped around bottles of duty-free liquor as padding. Or perhaps because, aside from company and vendor supplied clothing, I have no other clothes. It was one of the those reasons…
That’s about it except Margaret started feeling sick; we’re hoping it’s not Malaria or the Dengue Fever. She’ll be immediately quarantined in the bedroom upon arrival home. Which means I have to do all the laundry so expect me to be wearing wrinkled, slightly pinkish clothing on Monday; I don’t particularly like to take the time to separate colors when I do a load of laundry ‘by volume’.
Life's tough, wear a helmet. 